Mother's who are nurses please advise..

Posts: 43 · Joined: 12 Jan 2005 Posts: 43 Location: California

I resently took a permanent position since I am getting married. Although it will be a few years before we plan on having kids I thought I would get some advise in advance. I am curious if you took time off for the child's first few years. Or did you have a husband who spent more time at home or maybe they were put in childcare. It just seems like having kids and working 12 hour shifts wouldn't work. I love my job but don't want to have to sacrifice my family.

Posts: 3 · Posted: Fri Mar 11, 2005 10:58 am

After I had my son I took off 3 months to be with him. I was working in a hospital on a med-surg unit-8 hr shifts. Upon returning to work I found it very difficult as I was breast feeding, so I'd skip my meal break to pump. I asked my manager if I could do 12 hr shifts but at that time there werent enough nurses who wanted to do that so I took a position as an office nurse with a 1 hour lunch break to go home and feed him. I did that for <1 yr-I hated office nursing. I went back to the hospital to do 7a-7p. It worked wonderful! I now only do 12 hr shifts. I get home around 730 usually no later than 8. And I have 4 days off a week. It hasent affected my family life in any way.

Posts: 1 · Joined: 26 Feb 2005 Posts: 1

My experience as a nurse when I was married was that my schedule could be flexible so I didn't have to put my daughter in daycare as often because I could work my schedule around it. What I experienced when I got divorced was that, for the most part, if you have a sick kid who needs to be picked up early from school or something, good luck getting cut loose to pick your kid up. There usually isn't a lot of sympathy for matters such as that. It's something to keep in mind

Posts: 2 · Joined: 17 May 2005 Posts: 2

I have been a registered nurse for more than 30 years. During that time I have been married twice with one child of my own, two children of his and divorced twice. Here as a result of my experiences are The Commandments of Nursing.
1. Thou shalt not be married.
2. If married, thou shalt not expect a social life.
3. Thou shalt not have children.
4. If thou hath children, they shall not be sick.
5. If thy children or spouse are sick, thou shalt not expect to have time off to care for them.
6. Thou shalt not expect to have holidays, birthdays or vacation days off at thy convenience.
7. Upon return from time off, thou shall endure the wrath and scorn of thy co-workers for abandoning them.
8. Thou shalt not think institution based daycare is a good idea despite the fact most day care centers are open to accommodate "9-5 M-F" only working mothers.
9. Thou shalt not complain about missing thy children's or spouse's school or work/social related functions.
10. Thou shalt not ask for any special consideration due to the needs of thy spouse or children.

You'd think that a profession such as ours would be the most cognizant when it comes to being sympathetic to the needs of human beings. This may be true as it applies to our patients but not to our colleagues. Over the past 30 years I have run into more judgmental, hypocritical and self righteous people, both co-workers and administration, in the so called "caring profession" of nursing than in the general population. If you want to raise your children yourself and not by a babysitter or day care center, you'd better have a guy that wants to be a house mother or stay home until they are 18. If you don't, you will miss out on sharing with your family all those things we have been told is so important for a healthy relationship. I know. I did.
Myst2

Posts: 2 · Joined: 28 Jul 2005 Posts: 2 Location: Milwaukee

We are fortunate to live in a time where nurses are in demand. I have managers who have granted me months to study abroad and flexible schedules to take classes and vacations. Granted, some of this has been possible by my coworkers switching days with me, but over all not much trouble at all. This was a criteria when I hired on.

The trick has been to find a great manager and a place where the staff has a reputation for being nice to work with. Oh and one other thing, I've always worked in critical care. This has increase my "value" , in the eyes of hospital management, as an RN.

Lastly, pick the smallest FTE you can afford and pick up extra shifts when you can. This will help you "prioritize" your time.

Good Luck,
Not all nurses are bitter and resentful.
-Annette Very Happy